… Can be mysterious.
Sometimes it teases us with things that could be possible if we worked hard.
Sometimes it gets tired and throws the easy way right in front of us.
It’s up to us if we are ready to take the bait or not, and bear with the risks involved.

Among the people I know, there are some “rebels”. People announcing they are rebelling against the society, rebelling against the law, against money, against everything.
Claiming that their independence is most important for them, and that’s the reason why they refuse to work for some big companies.
“Live hard, die hard”.

It all makes me think… If you are a rebel, you don’t need to yell it all the time. It takes some credibility away from the whole thing. Your actions show your real self.
Also, to rebel against something you should have opinions about different ways to handle things. Yelling “this is shit” doesn’t usually create much improvements.
The biggest failure in their lines of thinking, is still this: They claim to be free and independent for not working and being able to do anything they want or nothing during the daytime when the slaves of the system work… But they seem to forget that their pocket money and payment for their living comes from the very system they despise – the people who work and keep up the lazy bums. Some independence, huh…

And I’m wearing a short skirt (happens very rarely in public) and guess what. It’s winding like hell outside, and I’m supposed to walk to the hairdresser (yei, finally!) and to the bus and train. I may need to hold it down to avoid comic situations and to keep other people from fainting.
I don’t feel rebellish at all

The good sides and the bad sides of the choices.
Honestly. (And like I haven’t done this a million times already before)
 

A) Stay.

+ Keep the house, have the money to make it nice
+ Nice monthly income
+ Get the Harley
+ Secured job, can be lazy when wants to
+ Possibilities to move on and get better at work
- Will stay lazy
- Feels like dying from the inside but can also be a problem of attitude
- Boring, uninteresting line of business.
- Working in front of the computer ruins the body
+ Mostly nice people to work with
- Some shitheads to work with
- Staying here forever would cause depression and self-hatred.

B) Run!

+ The smell of wood
- Way less money per month
- Two jobs, perhaps, to cover all costs
+ Physical job heals mind and body
- Needs lots of work to get good in it, would probably suck at first and cry for fails and fall for self-hatred
+ Insecure income and changes in daily routines would keep mind free.
- Insecure income would cause stress and actual need to struggle for it and be active.
+ A welcome change in life
+ Possibility to meet new, nice people
- Possibility to end up working with total pricks

Biggest problems:

Money.
Faith in self.

// One picture. The watch.

// And realizing how long ago I have written something like that for the first time… I’d say it’s time to run. Remind me not to skip the school applies this year, because I always forget. Also, it’s time to apply for the loan, get the bike and start writing applications for woodworking companies, if they’d train me.

How does one stop being afraid to jump into unknown?

I wish I knew a way to add more space between this paragraph and the previous one, because I really want to highlight the question.   // found.

17 days to London. I wouldn’t want to wait.
2 weeks of holiday. I’d love to do something different then.

About WoW, again.
Since it seems my “break from playing” was a fail, why not post about it then
It’s fun! I can’t help it.

It seems the roleplaying in WoW (which I used to enjoy most) has gone way downhill for the past years.
A guild where I created my tauren into, first transferred elsewhere, then faded, and now is just dead. My character is there pretty much alone, carrying the name of the Greywolves proudly, even she never got promoted to a true member (that being because I was too rarely there, and that was because I was leading a guild elsewhere).
It seems now, that a new tauren guild is forming. Following their tracks, in a way.
And I’m so excited! I will move the bird-cow there, and end her lonely journey and endless mourning on the lost tribe she once had.
1st thing to be happy about (also sad, to end one long and happy journey)

Also, the second thing to be happy about:
I went to my first Ruby Sanctum raid yesterday, and after 3 hours of wiping and learning, we finally got Halion down. It was amazing
And I wasn’t even bad! Hahah!

The third thing… I’ve been part of an amazing guild on one realm (well, friendly guild, very nice people), and it seems a lot of them has decided to try the “other side”, and join my banking guild on another realm…

Yea I know I’m not all sane, and you’ll no longer doubt that when I tell you I may be, most likely, arranging a small event on the RP-dead realm. Just for fun.
Eh

// 4th happy thing too!
Or well I’m not sure it’s happy, but… I have this urge to freeze some character’s level to 60 or 70 and raid the old raids in old gear… With friends.
Will see if that fires or not.

How can it be cloudy and bright at the same time?
There’s no sun to be seen, but still I see flashes of light in my eyes when I gaze outside for a while.

The jazz festival passed. It was an event worth visiting. Altough…
I drank too much free red wine and suffered the 2nd worst hangover of my life.
(…And thinking that the worst time was also with free red wine, I may not be good to handle free alhocohol.)
We were supposed to see Toto, but instead of that we went to see some strange chickens and goats, which we found much more interesting.
It was nice to just chill there, around the jazz street, sipping cider and enjoying the free day. Even the heavy thunderstorm didn’t harm too much, now that I think about it afterwards.
Found some nice rings and a watch. Pics to come…. … .. It seems I’m not too good to handle picture uploading either…

I still think the most fun thing one can do in a ship is to stay in the cabin without pants, and watch tv or read a book.

//
Ps. I miss that game

I know it’s too early, but I can’t help thinking this.
I’ll be turning 30 next May.
And I think it might be fun to have a party. Something bigger, perhaps. Or not. I don’t know.
One friend reserved her (favourite?) pub, and held a salsa party. She’s a salsa freak, so it suits.
I don’t want anything that big, though.
Maybe just invite people over, and have good food and plenty to drink. Keep the sauna warm.
Force them to listen psychobilly and metal, hehee.
I don’t know, I could use some ideas really.

// Or…
I could just crab my love with me and escape to some nice country (countries) for two weeks.
How nice would That be?

The word “jazz” doesn’t paint a picture of music in my head.
Instead, it makes me think a green rabbit who collects carrots and shoots turtles with a machine gun.

Anyway! This was about music, this time.
Or not, because I don’t have anything to say about jazz, except that I’m being left as a jazz-widow for three days. Which sucks. But it lets me stay home alone, which I kinda like.

I had a weird dream last night.
The events started with our neigbour carrying all kinds of rubbish on OUR yard (near their border), applied lighter fluids on them, and set them on fire. Me yelling at him “you’re on our side you idiot, don’t you dare do that!” didn’t help. We had our garage/sauna/storageroom close to the border in a separete building, and it was so close it caught fire. There was some people, friends of the man, doing some work with bikes in the building, and most of them ran out because the smoke and heat started to reach them.
I was outside. I had no idea where my phone was, but I used someone else’s phone to call the police.
I realized my phone and my bag could be inside the house.
I also realized the man is not coming out from there.
And one of his kids was running inside.
So I followed, and yelled at them to get out before it’s too late.
The kid followed me, but fell, and I had to carry him out.

After I went back to the burning, hot, smoking building, I found out the reason why they didn’t come out. There was this machine of some new high technology, and it was so secret that the group of men has sworn to protect it even with the cost of their lives. And they were demolishing it, breaking it into pieces. Because when the house burned down, it couldn’t be found by anyone, or it would mean some war, catastrophe, death of all, or something like that. So it had to be broken.

Eventually, luckily, they came out, unharmed. Some truck was pouring soil around the walls and on the window hatches, to prevent the fire from spreading. Some people had built a wall of bricks and stone around the house, also to stop the fire from moving on.
There was no fire on any other building, only that one and the trees.
But the house that was on the neighbour’s side, the closest one, some kind of a storage built on tall woodpoles, started to fall apart. The bricks just fell down from it, without anyone touching.
I felt pleased.

Then the alarm clock rang and ended my joy.

…I got some very nice shirts yesterday. Will take pics later *giggles*

And here’s one pic that I promised. The others are still in camera, waiting to be uploaded.

I’m here as the nanny.
Three adult cats, three kittens. Three bunnies. One chinchilla.

Feeding the cats is tricky, as one cannot eat others’ food, one has babies and needs to be separeated, and the one left wants just eat everyone’s food.
And the one who wants to eat everyone’s food is my favourite (after the babies). She’s also protesting agaist me, apparently, because she’s peeing in the kitchen sink and jumping up the shelves and dropping things…….
( <3 )

…I tried to play WoW but the keyboard is horror and the computer is slow.
D’oh.

It’s a Friiiii-daaaay… Outside in the yard…
It’s a loooong day… But that’s our rewaardd..
There’s some cats, I’ll see today..
Doesn’t know me, has plenty to say…

Yea.
I know the mixture of Rammstein and Reverent Horton Heat won’t necessarily sound too nice, but what the heck

I can’t get myself to work. It’s so so hard to just pick up the mouse, move it to something that says “do this, this will be late soon”. I just rather… … Dream. This week has been tough.

Rammstein – Keine Lust

Reverend Horton Heat – It’s a dark day